Give it up. Literally.

I didn't really feel like blogging today.
But so much is running through my mind I thought it would help. So I am going to use this entry to just let off some steam and possibly prevent upcoming stress.
These are just a few neurotic thoughts running through my mind....

"Ok, so I need to make a list of all the things I need to do. That list looks lame, I really don't have that much to do. I want to practice everyday for an hour, run every morning, eat healthy, watch the olympics, have a serious quiet time everyday, pack my car, pick out a bike. How am I gonna fit a bike in my car along with all the other crap I need to take to Lubbock? I really need to get a job when I get to Lubbock. Where though? I want to work somewhere like Starbucks. I don't even know if I have time for a job. I hate interviews. I really need to practice, Ms. McNeil is gonna kill me when she hears my first voice lesson. I feel fat. Maybe because it's that time of the month, or because I'm fatter. You're not fat. It could be worse. I don't care, I just feel fat. Well, I'll just start eating better. I was doing so good, and then I ate like crap in Germany. Nicole, you were Germany, get over it. Ok. I feel like I want to cut my hair. No, I just know as soon as I do, I'll freak out and want long hair. No I won't. I didn't last time. Well, maybe this time is different. You just got a trim, don't cut it yet. I want to get married. Well, I do but I don't. I just want to find that man that God has prepared me for. Where is he? I'm freaking waiting. I feel like if I just sat down for even five minutes and prayed about all of this I'd feel better. God doesn't answer all this in just five minutes. Shoot He could take five years if He wanted. I wish He were more timely. What does that even mean? I wish he followed my timeline? Get a grip. Give it up. Literally."

So close, Yet so far

I miss you.
I miss America.
I didn't want to say because I am seeing so many new things and meeting amazing people.
But I finally convinced myself that it is okay to be homesick. Especially, since I am close (yet so far) from going home.
We visited Wust about a week ago, which is a tiny tiny village, where we sang in a sweet little church for the village and they were so receptive, again. Everytime we are about to perform I think to myself, if I have to sing this song again, I'm gonna shoot myself, and then I sing and see what a gift I gave them, and thank God that I even had enough energy and breath to sing.
After Wust, we finished up our class in Quedlinburg and said goodbye to my host family. They were so amazing. I will definitely see them again. I have to.
We visited Leipzig, which is a younger, more energetic city. It is smaller than Berlin, really easy to navigate, and a lot of young college students. It was my favorite city by far. I felt really comfortable, and enjoyed the history and the parks. Yesterday I took that afternoon to myself and went to this big park and laid in the grass for about an hour and a half. Before I left, I bought a bottle of water and some blueberries. I sat in between two beautiful huge trees in front of a pond, and laid my head on my bag and read my book until I fell asleep. It was perfect.
We just got to Dresden today, and honestly the only thing I wanted to do was eat, relax, and get on the internet to see some form of life back home.
Two days here, and then my parents and little brother are coming on TUESDAY!! I am counting down the minutes...(this is slightly to make my mom feel guilty and make her come too)
I love you America, I will be home soon.
Ciao.